An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out.
An onion can make people cry, but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh.
Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate; now what's going to happen to us with both a Senate and a House?
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.
Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it.
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.
I have always noticed that people will never laugh at anything that is not based on truth.
I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they do today.
I was not a child prodigy, because a child prodigy is a child who knows as much when it is a child as it does when it grows up.
I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.
If you want to know how a man stands, go among the people who are in his same business.
Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
Nothing you can't spell will ever work.
On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does.
Politics is applesauce.
Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.
Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week.
That's the trouble with a politician's life-somebody is always interrupting it with an election.